Some coworkers are just a little… extra.
They hover. They micromanage. They offer “helpful suggestions” when no one asked. And if you’re not careful, their overreach starts affecting your performance, your mood—and your reputation.

If you’ve got a colleague who acts more like your manager than your peer, don’t just stew in silence or pop off in frustration. This is your chance to level up your influence without sinking to their level.

Here’s how to handle a bossy coworker while protecting your energy, earning respect, and keeping your leadership edge.

Play It Smart (Before You Escalate)

1. Get clear on what’s actually happening.
   Before you react, name the behavior. Are they giving unsolicited advice? Undermining your leadership on a project? Dominating meetings that aren’t theirs to lead? Specificity gives you power.
2. Stop the “friendly doormat” routine.
   You don’t have to go nuclear. Just stop defaulting to politeness when your boundaries are being crossed. Practice saying things like:

“Thanks—I’ve got this handled for now.”
“Appreciate the input. I’m following a different direction on this one.”
“Let’s circle back if something shifts. I’ve already aligned this with [manager/client/team].”

3. Listen—but with strategy.
   Sometimes bossy behavior is rooted in fear, insecurity, or a lack of clarity. Listening doesn’t mean you agree—it just positions you as the calm, solution-oriented one in the room. You’ll also learn what’s driving them, which is gold for managing the dynamic long-term.
4. Reflect and recalibrate.
   Ask yourself: Is there anything I’m doing (or not doing) that leaves room for confusion about ownership or authority? Are you staying too quiet in meetings? Not documenting decisions? Letting small oversteps slide? Clean up your side of the street—then set your tone.

Reestablish Your Ground (Without Going to War)

5. Hold a line, not a grudge.
   Boundaries aren’t punishments. They’re agreements. Keep your tone professional but firm. Reiterate your role, your deliverables, and your accountability. If the issue continues, propose a workstream check-in with your boss to clarify responsibilities—not to complain, but to align.
6. Build your own coalition.
   If you’re not the only one who’s noticed the power-grabbing, reach out quietly to a few trusted peers. You don’t need to gossip—just validate that it’s not all in your head. Solidarity helps, especially when you start reinforcing new norms.
7. Manage up when needed.
   If the behavior impacts your ability to perform or collaborate, it’s okay to bring it to your manager—but focus on solutions. Frame it as:

“Here’s what’s happening and how it affects delivery. I’ve already tried X, Y, and Z. I’d love your take on the best way to ensure clarity moving forward.”

Play the Long Game Like a Leader

8. Invest in visibility.
   Make sure your actual contributions aren’t being overshadowed. Speak up in meetings. Share project updates proactively. Create a wins journal. Update your internal resume. Get your name attached to your work.
9. Choose growth over grievance.
   Use the frustration as fuel. Volunteer for a cross-functional project. Pitch an idea. Start mentoring someone newer. Show everyone—including your bossy coworker—that your lane is already full.
10. Be generous—but not naïve.
    Still treat your coworker with respect. Acknowledge their wins. Be civil. It makes you look confident, not cold. But keep a healthy boundary between collaboration and control.
11. Stay focused on your mission.
    At the end of the day, your job isn’t to change anyone—it’s to own your role, protect your peace, and operate with excellence. Lead by example, and let the rest fall where it may.

Final Word: Don’t Let Someone Else’s Insecurity Shrink Your Presence

A bossy coworker doesn’t have to derail your confidence or create chaos. With strategic communication, strong boundaries, and visible leadership, you can rise above the noise—and remind the room who really gets things done.