6 Ways to Raise Your Spouse’s Self-Esteem

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Even though you may not think much about it, it always feels good when someone takes the time and makes the effort to help you feel better about yourself. Whether it’s a compliment, gesture, or facial expression, it feels great to know someone is considering your feelings.

Have you ever thought about making an effort to strengthen your spouse’s self-esteem? It’s important to demonstrate your love and affection with actions that help increase your partner’s positive feelings about himself.

Try these strategies to raise your spouse’s self-esteem:

  1. Notice the little things your spouse does for you. Do they always open doors for you or pull out your chair when dining out? Perhaps they consistently ask what you’d like to have for dinner.
    • Say something like, “Wow, that was so nice” or “I really appreciate you cooking and serving a meal for me” to boost your spouse’s feelings about themself.
  1. Take delight in your spouse’s presence. Even at the busiest, most hectic times, stop what you’re doing to acknowledge your spouse’s presence. Greet each other with love and care. Your spouse will feel great when you pay more attention to them than to anyone else in the room.
  2. Compliment something they do well. Do they set the most beautiful table when guests are coming for dinner? Do they always clean your car inside and out, making it look like new? Compliment these gestures of love from your spouse. After all, not everyone can do what they do as well as they do it. Let them know that.
  3. Notice when they really enjoy doing a task or other activity. For example, say something like, “I can tell that you had a great time helping Jack paint his house today. And you did a fantastic job!” Your positive comments to your partner about what you notice about them serve to shore up some extra self-esteem.
    • Plus, your remarks will cause your spouse to reflect on what they were doing and recognize, “Hey, yeah, I really do enjoy doing that and I’m good at it! I’m going to make some plans to do it again soon.”
  1. Show consistent support and confidence when your spouse appears to be struggling with a particular issue. If your spouse is trying to lose some weight, for example, and has been disappointed with the results, let them know you see their efforts and that you believe they’ll pay off.
    • Comment, “Let’s take a 15-minute walk every day after work before dinner time” to demonstrate your strong support for them. They’ll feel cherished to know you’re there for them and that you understand what they are going through. When they feel like they are worth it and that you’ve got confidence in them, those feelings translate to self-esteem.
  1. When your spouse makes a change, be aware of it. Compliment the change.
    • For example, if they change their hairstyle or try a different style of clothing, make comments such as, “You look so great with that new cut” or “That color of shirt complements the color of your eyes very nicely. I think we should get you some more clothes in that shade.”

One of the most important factors about being a spouse is to always be there emotionally for the other person. Using strategies that raise your spouse’s self-esteem will strengthen your relationship and deepen the love and respect you feel for each other. Practice these strategies to raise your spouse’s self-esteem. Your partner will appreciate you even more!

about author

Karie Barrett
Karie Barrett

Karie is a results-obsessed marcom, design, and analytics professional with proven success leading corporate marketing, internal communications, and business strategy development for companies across diverse commercial and nonprofit industries.

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