Why “polite” marketing is killing your conversions and what to do instead

You’re not losing deals because you weren’t good enough. You’re losing them because you didn’t ask.

The Epidemic of Polite Invisibility

We’ve gotten so busy trying not to be “cringy” that we’ve forgotten how to close.

You’ve felt it before: that moment at the end of a great pitch. You’ve made the case. The client is nodding. The vibe is good. But you hesitate. You don’t want to be pushy. You don’t want to ruin the moment. So you end with a polite “Let me know if you have any questions”… and let it linger.

And then… nothing.

You assume your value spoke for itself. You assume the client will follow up. You assume not being annoying earns you points. But polite doesn’t pay the bills.

You’re not losing deals because of your talent. You’re losing them because you didn’t ask for the sale.

Cringe Is a Cop-Out

Let’s be real. Somewhere along the way, we started equating directness with desperation. And clarity with cringe.

But ask yourself this: If the best closers in high-stakes industries—like real estate, enterprise SaaS, and car dealerships—still ask questions like:

“What’s standing in the way of us moving forward today?”

“What do I need to do to earn your business?”

Is it because they’re sleazy? Or because it works? What do they know that you don’t? They know what you forgot: clarity closes.

Deals don’t close themselves. Action doesn’t happen without a nudge. Decision doesn’t happen in a vacuum. And no one says yes to something they weren’t clearly invited to say yes to.

“Value First” Marketing and Sale Still Need a Close

You can inspire. You can educate. You can reflect their pain back to them with poetic precision.

But if you don’t say:

“Would you like to move forward with this?”

“Should I send over the contract so we can get started this week?”

“Is this a yes?”

Then you’re not closing. You’re hoping. And hope doesn’t convert. Asking does.

The Close Starts Long Before You Make the Ask

The best closers don’t just wait until the end to start the ask. They guide the prospect through a series of increasingly clear questions that warm the ground for the final decision.

This isn’t pressure. It’s precision. Or a rhythm, if you will.

It might sound like:

• “What made you reach out today?”
• “What’s going to happen if this problem is still here in 3 months?”
• “How long have you been trying to solve this?”
• “What’s your timeline for results?”

Each one softens the ground for the real ask. Now, you’re not pushing, you’re guiding.
You’re helping them articulate what they already know, confirming it, and then giving them the courage to act.

By the time you ask, “Want to get started?” — you’re not surprising them, they’re ready to say yes.

Let Them Sell Themselves

Here’s the truth that no one likes to talk about: most people already know they need to say yes. They just need to hear themselves say it.

Your job isn’t to pressure. Your job is to guide them to that moment.

That means reflecting back their own words. That means putting their pain and urgency in plain view. And then asking:

“Can you afford to stay where you are?”
“What’s the real cost of doing nothing?”
“So what do you want to do about it?”

Then you pause. Let the silence do its job.

When they say it, they believe it. And when they believe it, they buy.

You’re not convincing them, you’re creating clarity and that clarity builds urgency.

Urgency leads to action.

A practical example:

“You mentioned this has been a problem for over a year… can you afford to keep letting it cost you?”

“You said this keeps you up at night… so what do you want to do about it?”

The Secret to a 97% Close Rate

Let me share a little secret with you. My husband is a consultant with a 97% close rate. Colleagues and leaders come to him all the time as ask: “How do you land almost every deal? What do you do differently?”

His answer? “I asked.”

That’s it.

Not a pitch deck. Not a clever discount. Not a pressure tactic. No slick moves or being pushy.

Just a simple, confident, clear ask.

He guides the client through their pain, shows them a path out, and then asks for the business. He leads the conversation with clarity and confidence…because he knows that clarity is kindness and asking is not cringy.

Ask Like a Professional, Not an Amateur

You’re not being annoying. You’re being clear. You’re not pressuring. You’re inviting someone to step into a better reality. You’re not selling snake oil. You’re selling a solution. So act like it.

The best guides don’t wait to be chosen. They ask to be hired. If you’ve been losing too many “almost” deals lately, ask yourself: “Did I actually ask for the business?”

If not? You know what to do next.