Let’s call it what it is:

Most people are chasing a version of success they didn’t choose.

It’s preloaded.
It’s performative.
And it’s usually designed to impress people who aren’t even watching.

Fancy cars. Corporate titles. Big houses in gated neighborhoods.
If that’s what you genuinely want, that’s great.
But if you’re chasing it because it looks good on a holiday card… we need to talk.

The Real Cost of Following a Script You Didn’t Write

You can climb the ladder—only to realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall.
You can check all the boxes—and still feel empty.

So here’s the pivot:

Instead of asking, “Am I successful yet?”
Ask, “Am I successful by my definition?”

Let’s rebuild that definition from the inside out.

Ask Yourself These 6 Questions:

1. What Legacy Do I Want to Leave Behind?

Fast-forward to the very end. You’re looking back.

What mattered?

• The money?
• The memories?
• The impact?
• The risks you took?
• The people you showed up for?
• The way you made people feel?

What do you want your kids—or the world—to remember about you?

2. What Are My Actual Values?

You can’t build a life of alignment without knowing what you value.
Not your parents. Not your industry. Not your friend group.

Pull out a sheet of paper. Write down:

• What principles you refuse to compromise on
• What matters more than money
• What you’re willing to walk away from

If success violates your values, it’s not success. It’s self-abandonment.

3. What Do I Want to Do With My Life?

Forget what sounds impressive. Forget what’s marketable.

What do you actually want to experience?

• Learn to surf?
• Hike Patagonia?
• Build a nonprofit that feeds kids?
• Write a memoir?
• Host dinner parties every Sunday?

Write it all down. No edits. No filters. No “realistic” limits.

4. What Kind of Life Do I Want to Live?

Not just what you want to do—but how you want to live.

• Urban or rural?
• Wild and free or structured and secure?
• Solo or surrounded?
• Loud or quiet?
• Faith-based, family-based, adventure-based, art-based?

Your days are your life in miniature. Define the kind of days you actually want to wake up to.

5. What Would Make Me Feel Successful?

Imagine a few different lives. Try them on like jackets:

• You live in a cabin in the woods. No social media. No spotlight. Total freedom.
• You’re running a global business from your laptop, waking up in a different country each month.
• You’re raising four kids on a farm, homeschooling, and selling bread at the local market.
• You’re in a penthouse leading a VC firm that just funded the next Patagonia.

Which one hits? Not sounds successful—feels successful?

6. Would It Still Feel Like Success if No One Knew?

This one’s the truth detector.

If no one ever saw your car, your job title, your home, your resume, your passport stamps…

Would it still feel like success?

Or are you chasing applause instead of alignment?

Final Word

There’s no universal metric for success.
There’s only one question that matters:

Will you like who you’ve become?

If the answer is yes,
If the life you’re building feels honest, alive, and yours—
You’re already successful.