Here’s a hard truth: Most people don’t fail because they’re lazy. They fail because they’re living someone else’s plan.

You’ve got drive. You’ve got grit. But if your goals aren’t aligned with your values, your wiring, and your definition of success?

You’ll burn out chasing someone else’s finish line.

If the goal isn’t yours, the energy won’t be either.

How many times have you:

• Picked a goal because it sounded right?
• Committed to something because it impressed someone else?
• Said yes when your gut said nope?

That’s borrowed ambition. And it comes with interest.

Every time you chase a goal that doesn’t fit, you’re draining your most valuable assets—energy, attention, trust in yourself. Eventually, the debt comes due.

High performers fall into this trap more than anyone.

We’re wired to win. But that wiring can betray us when we start optimizing for optics instead of alignment.

The CEO who hates leading teams.
The entrepreneur who resents her own business.
The creative who’s too burnt out to create.

They all have one thing in common: Their goals are optimized for validation, not fulfillment.

Selfish ≠ Self-centered.

It means self-honest. You don’t need to justify your goals to anyone.

If you want to scale a company to 8 figures, own that.
If you want to live in a cabin and work 15 hours a week, own that.
If you want to get in peak shape or write a novel or work part-time while raising your kids—own that.

Your ambition doesn’t need permission. But it does need alignment.

Here’s how you know the goal isn’t yours:

• It drains you before you start.
• You dread the process but “should” your way through.
• You’re performing more than progressing.
• You keep hitting walls and blaming your discipline.
• The win never feels like enough.

Sound familiar?

Then you’re not chasing a goal. You’re chasing approval.

5 Ways to Be Productively Selfish with Your Goals

1. Get brutally honest about what success looks like for you.
   Stop building for claps. Start building for alignment.
2. Check the origin of the goal.
   Who are you really trying to impress? Would you want this if no one saw you win?
3. Map the energy return.
   Does this goal fuel your momentum—or deplete it?
4. Make peace with divergence.
   Your goals won’t look like everyone else’s. That’s the point.
5. Build systems for your life.
   Stop copying routines from people who aren’t living your reality.

When your goals are honest, you move faster.

Because clarity cuts friction.

You stop second-guessing.
You stop people-pleasing.
You stop outsourcing your definition of a good life.

And that? That’s what fuels sustainable, compounding momentum.

So yes—be selfish with your goals. Because the alternative isn’t humility. It’s misalignment. And nothing stalls success faster than that.